Dumbass Sayings: “Pardon My French”

"Vous manger la
merde fils muet
de pute!"
Sometimes when your grandpa goes off on a drunken profanity laced tirade at Denny’s he’ll cap it off by saying “Pardon my French!” Unfortunately if you’re me you learn a little too late that this is not actual French. If you’re ever visiting Montreal or any area of the world where people speak English and French you might think that because American curse words are “French” that it’s okay to say them in front of someone’s children. You could not be more wrong. When my French friend introduced me to her 5-year-old I thought I spoke a little French so I started just saying every curse word I knew at her. When I saw the tears come trickling down I realized my mistake. “Cuntbag” is not a French term nor was it ever. My grandpa was wrong. We were all wrong. The strange thing is French is such a nice sounding language whenever someone is cursing at me in French I just smile and wave because it sounds like they're trying to seduce me or something.

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