Dumbass Sayings: “I’m Gonna Go Out On A Limb Here”

I'm gonna go out on a
limb here and guess
you had an accident.
Sometimes when I’m on line at Walmart buying binoculars and hand moisturizer the cashier says to me “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you’re a peeping tom!” Let me get this straight, you’re going out on a limb? No no no, I am the one who’s going out on a limb with these binoculars. I’m out out on a tree limb outside my neighbor’s bedroom window. It’s the perfect spot because the leaves cover me up like natural camouflage. Obviously the only difficult part is keeping a grip on the branch while holding the binoculars and trying not to make the tree shake too much otherwise she’s going to notice something is having a seizure in her tree outside. She’ll take her phone out and try to take a video because she thinks it’s a squirrel fight or something and then there I am covered in lube, my hands slip, and I fall out of the tree ONTO the binoculars, crushing them and my back. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Then when I’m in the hospital recovering I have to answer all these questions from a detective and end up having to move. It’s a big hassle.

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