Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Keep From Vomiting During My Wedding?”

Vomiting at a wedding
can spoil the mood.
Dear McFartnuggets:
I’m a really nervous person and when I’m super nervous my stomach turns inside out and I always throw up. The problem is I’m getting married this June and I’m really afraid that I’m going to end up throwing up at the altar. What makes matters worse is this nervous stomach runs in my family so I’m fearing a worst case scenario where I blow chunks and then everyone on my family’s side of the church starts hurling too. I don’t want my wedding to become a pukefest! How can I keep from vomiting during the wedding to prevent all this from happening? -- Amy from Wilmington, Delaware

Dear Amy:
First off, congratulations on getting married. It does seem like you’ve got a bit of a problem there. Some people might recommend medication to calm your nerves, but I’m not into that whole pharmacology business. I would recommend you just don’t eat anything before the ceremony. Go on a fast for about a day before the wedding. This way not only will you fit perfectly into your dress, but even if you do get nervous and start to throw up you’ll only be dry heaving. I think people will be able to handle that without losing their lunch. Even if you drink water and puke that up it’s just water so it’s not as gross as the usual orangey/green chunky gravy that usually comes up with people vomit. Good luck, Amy!

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