Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Give Money To Homeless Beggars On The Street?”

Santa has fallen on hard
times since the elf strike.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I give a dollar to the same homeless beggar on the street every day before work, but I don’t think it’s actually helping him. What is the point of giving him him the money if it’s not really doing any good? I want to help make a difference, but is giving money to homeless beggars the best way to do that? -- T’Shon from Glendale, Arizona

Dear T’Shon:
It is nice to give a hobo a dollar every once in awhile, but it’s basically like giving them a tiny treat. It’s not going to actually help them. If you really want to help a hobo that you know is friendly and safe, get to know them and build a rapport. When you trust them, let them use your bathroom and build them a treehouse in your backyard. Then help them find some job interviews and loan them a nice suit. Once they get a job they can live in your treehouse for as long as they need until they’re on their feet and can move out. THAT would be a way to help someone. It’s just a shame that so few people do it. Is it the treehouse part? I’ll bet it’s that. People are too intimidated with the idea of building a functioning treehouse. What Would Jesus Do? He would build treehouses for all the homeless people. He was a carpenter after all.

If you have questions you need answered write them to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and please no more nude photos! That’s not what this is about! I’m here to help people.

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