Dumbass Sayings: “Love At First Bite”

Sometimes you’ll meet someone who’s talking about a cupcake they had earlier in the day. They keep talking about how “divine” the cupcake was and how it changed their life and how it was “Love at first bite.” What the hell is wrong with people these days? It’s a cupcake! I get that cupcakes are good, but they shouldn’t be lifechanging. Consuming a handheld spongecake shouldn’t be seen as on the same level as meeting Jesus. If you talk about “red velvet” more than five times in a day you have an issue. There’s an emptiness in your soul that you’re filling with trendy desserts and it’s making you talk weird. Saying something was “Love at first bite” is just strange. If you really love something you shouldn’t be eating it and turning it into feces. And of course you liked it at the “First bite”, no one starts eating a food and thinks it’s nasty until the last couple of bites. This is clearly a play on the term “Love at first sight”, but food isn’t people. That's highly illegal.

It's hard to fall in love with someone who just gave you rabies.

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