Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Okay To Walk My Hamster Outdoors?”

Hamsters can't bark and barking
is like the "You're stepping on me"
alarm for tiny dogs.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
I see people outside walking dogs that are really tiny sometimes the size of fat rats. Does that mean it’s okay for me to walk my hamster Jamal outdoors too? -- Rachel from Washington D.C.

Dear Rachel:
No, I would keep Jamal inside as much as possible. Just because people walk their tiny rat dogs doesn’t mean it’s safe to do. I’ve come very close to accidentally stepping on teeny dogs and if they were as small as a hamster that would only make matters worse. Plus, hamsters aren’t meant to be exposed to filthy streets. The dirt and feces from hobos and dogs could make your hamster very sick. And of course there could be problems when you encounter another person with a dog. Most dogs won’t eat a tiny dog, they’ll just sniff its asshole, but if they come face to face with a rodent there’s a chance they might just eat it right off the damn sidewalk and it’ll be lights out for ol’ Jamal!

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