Dumbass Sayings: “Four Eyes”

When a person wears glasses sometimes people call them “Four eyes.” I’m not sure how this caught on considering how little sense it makes. Corrective lenses aren’t eyeballs. If you saw a man with no eyeballs wearing glasses would you consider him “Two eyes”? No. He’s still a guy with zero eyeballs scaring children at the park. If you call someone with glasses “Four eyes” then why isn’t someone who wears a monocle called “Three eyes”? If anyone should be mocked for wearing vision correction devices it should be folks who wear monocles, but I guess they get let off the hook. No catchy name for those people. If someone wears bifocals are they “Six eyes”? The point is the only people who could be logically called “Four eyes” are conjoined twins fused together at the head. Still, that’s wrong to call them that so don’t do it. Let’s just say for the sake of argument you saw conjoined twins both wearing bifocals, would you call them “Twelve eyes”? This whole business of counting lenses as extra eyeballs is pure nonsense.

Get a load of two hundred eyes over here!

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