5.20.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Not To Mention”

Sometimes people will say things like “I’ve got so much to do today, I’ve gotta wash the car, mow the lawn, take the kids to judo, vacuum the floor, restore a Victorian era painting, masturbate, cook dinner, vacuum the ceiling, train for a marathon, adopt a homeless person, NOT TO MENTION, bathe them!” Whenever someone says “Not to mention” they always mention. Have you noticed that? It’s kind of like when someone says “This person needs no introduction… PLEASE WELCOME, BILL!” Except sometimes people can literally say “This person needs no introduction” Then they come out and if they’re famous enough everyone cheers anyway because they really did not necessitate an introduction to the audience. However, no one ever says “Not to mention…” and then just goes silent. Once you say “Not to mention” you basically have to mention something which is exactly the opposite of what “Not to mention” means. If it’s really “Not to mention” then just shut up and stay true to the words you’re speaking to people.

"I'd love to come and see your baby, but I'm very busy with work, not to mention his eyes are really creepy."

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