Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does ‘Deuce’ Mean Poop?

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"Eat shit and die."
Dear McFartnuggets: 
My girlfriend keeps saying “I need to go take a deuce” and by now I’ve figured out it means “poop” I just don’t get why. Why does “Deuce” mean “poop”? -- Adrian from Seattle

Dear Adrian:
The word “Deuce” means the number two and as we all know defecation is known as “Going number 2.” Additionally, the word also used to be slang for Devil. That’s where the saying “What the deuce?” comes from. This could also mean why pooping is known as number two, because it’s like Satan himself is flying out of your butthole. So “Deuce” means poop because “Two” means “Deuce” and “Deuce” means “Satan.” It all makes sense when you think about it. So the next time someone says “What the bloody deuce is going on?” If they’re English, they’re saying “What the hell?” and if they’re American they’re talking about a bowel movement with blood in it.

Send your poop questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com.

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