Dumbass Sayings: “You Can’t Tickle Yourself”

People love to say “You can’t tickle yourself!” when you’re tickling yourself at Olive Garden or church. Then they tell you if you don’t stop you’ll be asked to leave. What’s the deal with that? It’s the year 2014, people tickle themselves. If you don’t tickle yourself then you’ve probably never tried it because it’s awesome. Some people think it’s physically impossible to tickle themselves, well these people have obviously never tried sitting on their hands til their hands fall asleep and then rubbing their nipples and armpits. Tickling yourself is the best kind of tickling because you’re in full control. It’s not like when your priest tickles you and you end up shitting your pants in his basement. Tickling yourself is the new black.

A lot of people say you can't spank your own ass too. WRONG AGAIN!

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