5.27.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “God Rest His Soul”

Do souls even have
access to hammocks?
Whenever someone brings up the name of a dead relative like your Uncle Jeff, they always say “God rest his soul!” Why do people say that? Is that a command? You know God hears that and says “Oh should I? Okay thanks!” Don’t give God orders like that. If anything you’re lucky God isn’t insulted by you saying that and then starts working that person’s soul and keeping them in a state of unrest. And how do you even rest a soul? Do you think that person’s soul is up there running on a treadmill or something? The guy is already dead, I think that’s as much at rest as someone can be. Why do people always say this like a nervous tic? Do they really think that if they mention a dead person without immediately saying “God rest his soul” the person’s soul will be banished to hell? When someone dead is mentioned are they put into a heavenly dunking booth and then everyone waits around for them to say “God rest his soul” and if they don’t, Jesus throws a baseball at the target and they fall to hell? That’s absurd.

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