Ask McFartnuggets: “If You Dream You’re Falling And Hit The Ground Do You Die?”

Always dream you have a parachute
just in case.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
If you have a dream where you’re falling and you hit the ground do you die in real life? I always wake up before I hit the ground. -- Jarrod from Newcastle

Dear Jarrod:
Of course you don’t die in real life, this is a complete load of frog balls. If this was true there’d be no way of proving it. You can’t see a dead guy in a bed and say “Oh, he must have dreamed he hit the ground…” What kind of sense would that make? How could you even begin to assume something like that? Maybe he was dreaming about being fucked by a goat demon and had a heart attack. That’s just as likely. How would that even work? Would you hit the ground in the dream and then die as you were lying on the ground in the dream? That seems weird. I’d think you’d die at the moment of impact, but at that point who’s to say you even hit the ground? Technically you didn’t because you died before you fully made dream contact with the dream ground.

Plus, I dream I’m falling all the time and I dream of hitting the ground too. I’m not dead. Am I? As far as I know I’m still alive unless this is all some sort of Matrix world where robots keep human consciousnesses alive to harvest their mind energy. Oh god… Maybe I did die… I have to go.

Send your imaginary questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

No comments :

Post a Comment