Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do We Get Diarrhea When We Feel Nervous?”

Always remember to rehydrate often
when experiencing diarrhea.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
How come whenever I get really nervous my stomach liquefies all my poopies and make me go diarrhea? Do the butterflies in my stomach make liquid caca in there? How do they do it? Why does this always happen every time I’m stressed out at work? -- Katie from Boston

Dear Katie:
When you’re nervous that’s the fight or flight response being involuntarily triggered in your brain. Humans have had this in their brains since caveman times and it helps us survive. When cavemen were faced with a woolly mammoth they would get nervous and have diarrhea. The thing is back then they could have diarrhea wherever they wanted, it’s not like today where you can’t just pull your pants down and spray shit all over the walls at work. The diarrhea is a self defense mechanism. Spraying diarrhea at a predator can disorient them and even blind them. You know how a squid squirts ink at predators? Same thing. You’re supposed to spray a cloud of diarrhea in someone’s face and escape in the chaos. That’s nature’s way.

E-mail your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and happy diarrhea!

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