The Top 10 Weirdest Names From The 2014 NFL Draft

Football is home to the
world's weirdest names.
For some reason people who give birth to football players always name their kid something interesting. 2013 featured the name Barkevious Mingo. Would anyone from 2014 be able to challenge him for the title of most ridiculous name in the NFL? If anyone knows weird names it’s Binkie McFartnuggets. It was hard to narrow this down to just ten, but here are the top 10 funniest and weirdest names from the 2014 NFL Draft:

10. Daytawion Lowe, FS from Oklahoma State
Just having “Day” in your first name is odd. You rarely meet anyone named “Day.” I’m not sure why. It seems like it should be a good name.

9. Bryn Renner, QB from North Carolina
Bryn is sort of like a stripper’s name so it’s odd to give that to a male. I think they wanted to buy a vowel, but they were all out of Wheel of Fortune money.

8. Mycal Swaim, SS from Eastern Michigan
I never understood the concept of spelling a common name in a unique way because it doesn’t serve as a truly unique name. To everyone that hears it, you have a common name. It’s only when you start spelling it that people think you have a learning disability.

7. Blake Bortles, QB from UCF
Bortles is an odd name. Sounds like something you would name your pet turtle.

6. Rantavious Wooten, WR from Georgia
I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but Rantavious is a strange ass name. Barkevious Mingo’s name came from the fact his mother liked the name “Kevious” and just mashed other names up with that. I wonder what the odds are the same exact thing happened with Rantavious’ mother. That would be an odd coincidence.

5. Ego Ferguson, DT from LSU
Ego seems like a strange name, but at least his parents didn’t name him Id.

4. Dakota Dozier, OG from Furman
Dakota is another one of those names hippies give to their daughters so it’s weird that a giant man would have that name.

3. Shaq Evans, Barrett, and Richardson
Shaq may not be a weird name these days, but it’s funny how three players in the 2014 NFL Draft have that name. It’s quite obvious their parents were big fans of Shaquille O’Neal. Still, I don’t see the point in naming your kids something unique like Shaq. If you make the name up that’s one thing, but you shouldn’t use someone else’s unique name. Not many people name their kids “Cher” or “Sting” for that very reason.

2. Devekeyan Lattimore, ILB from South Florida
It’s always a good rule of thumb never to name your kid something that sounds like a Yugoslavian surname.

And the number one weirdest name from the 2014 NFL Draft was...

1. Haha Clinton-Dix, FS from Alabama
Obviously, Haha Clinton-Dix wins the weirdest name of the 2014 NFL Draft award. What makes it even more ridiculous is the fact that Monica Lewinsky is back in the news for doing an article for “Vanity Fair.” You can’t make this shit up. The guy’s name is HAHA like how you laugh at a joke and then his two last names are basically the main pieces in a Bill Clinton adultery joke of which millions exist. His last names are the components for one of the most popular and overused jokes there are and just when you thought we could forget about “Haha’ing” at Clinton’s dick, here comes Monica Lewinsky back in the news and a free safety from Alabama. The only way it could have been better is if he came from Arkansas.

1 comment :

  1. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix's real name is Ha'Sean