|What would we do|
without the internet?
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if there was no such thing as the internet? If you have then you must’ve been born in the 90’s. Even if you’re older, it’s still interesting to think about how exactly life would be different today without the information superhighway. Sometimes we have to stop and think about how life could be different to understand how truly lucky we all are. Here are the top 5 ways life would be different if there was no internet:
5. Shopping would be more difficult.
Shopping is a huge pain in the ass, but nowadays with this new Amazon gadget you can just say what you want into a robot and it will buy it for you. Try doing that without the internet and you’ll just look insane talking into your dildo at Walmart.
|Without the internet we'd all have to go back to wearing skirts and staring through windows to do our shopping.|
4. Newspapers would still be relevant.
Sadly, internet killed the print star. In a few years it’s likely that newspapers will cease to exist at all. Some people think that’s a good thing because it’s saving trees, but when you’ve had to take a dump on the beach and you’re looking around for something to use as toilet paper to clean your shitty ass you’re going to be ruing the day the internet destroyed newspapers.
|Sorry, punk! No one wants your filthy ink rags!|
3. Insulting comments and radical viewpoints would have to be kept to ourselves.
Let’s face it, if there were no more internet for anonymous message boards and comments, most people would just keep all that acerbic vitriol inside of themselves. A few people might still communicate those things on the streets, but those would be crazy people. The internet is like a close group of friends you can share your deepest darkest hatreds with. Is that a good thing? I don’t even know.
|The act of calling someone a bitch and giving death threats face to face is a lost art.|
2. We would have to stalk people in person.
Without Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever the hell else, people would have to stalk folks the old fashioned way with binoculars and a map. Having no internet would definitely cut down on the total number of stalkings so there’s that. Who doesn’t like being stalked at least a little? Sure it’s creepy, but it has to be flattering in some sense, right?
|Do you have any idea of the effort it takes to stalk in real life?|
And the number one way life would change if there was no more internet is…
1. We would have to watch porn on DVDs.
Imagine how scary this would be. Watching porn on DVDs and Blu-Ray like a bunch of goddamned savages? What would the world be like? Well, Best Buy and adult stores would probably experience a boost in business for one. People would probably be outdoors more often to purchase porn DVDs, working harder to increase their porn budget now that they have to pay for it, and meeting new people. Who needs that bullcrap? I think we’d willingly trade that for free instant porn access in a heartbeat, every single time.
|If you don't have internet porn you'll have to use DVDs or worse yet actually kidnap people to watch in your basement dungeon.|
So it didn’t seem like the internet was all that useful until we got to number 1. Now you realize how truly important the internet is and why we can never live without it.