The Top 5 Worst Ways To Break Up With Someone

You have to be careful how you
break someone's heart.

When you’ve made the decision to break up with your significant other it all becomes a question of how best to break the news. Usually face to face at a nice restaurant works well because they won’t go berserk. If you take her to a Denny’s or TGIFriday’s then that’s no deterrent for madness. If anything it will only make her louder and more violent. Yes there are good ways to break up and then there are bad ways. Here are the top 5 worst ways to break up with someone:

5. Singing telegram

People don’t get singing telegrams too often these days so most people don’t know how to react to them. If the person you’re breaking up with gets really violent they might attack the singing telegram guy and who wants that? Being a singing telegram guy has to be hard enough in the 21st century without an asswhooping.

4. By AOL instant messenger

This was always the worst way to break up with people and now it’s only slighly better because of the nostalgia factor. It’s still a bad way to tell someone you’re emotionally done with them, but it’s always nice to bring something back from the past.

3. FedEx letter

Sending someone a FedEx letter with your relationship resignation is a pretty cold thing to do. It’s showing the other person that your time together meant absolutely nothing and they’re ending it like you just got fired from the company of love.

2. Carrier pigeon

Pigeon wouldn’t actually be so bad if it weren’t for the pigeon always getting lost. These days there’s so much to distract and interfere with a pigeon’s path that the message rarely gets to the right person. Then your wife is out there still thinking you’re together and some other couple gets a note that says “It’s over” and you spark a fight between two strangers for no reason.

And the number one worst way to break up with someone is…

1. Hitman

If you really hate the person you’ve been living with for ten years THAT much then just move to another state or even country. Unfriend them on Facebook and then it’s basically just like they’re dead except your kid still has a mother and you’re not in jail. Doesn’t that sound like a much better idea?