Chimps Have Better Short Term Memory Than Humans

Scientists in Asia have proven through a series of complex studies that Chimpanzees have stronger short term memories than human beings. We still have better long term memories though which is more important to career success. It's the reason we know not to rip people's faces off and chimps don't. That being said, true freedom is having a chimp's memory. You're better at memory puzzles and can throw your feces around without any remorse. I wish I had that type of memory. Instead, I throw my feces once and it turns into the reason I'm never invited to Thanksgiving dinner.

Maybe if my family had chimp memories they could just forget that and we'd all be a little happier. We could learn a lot from the chimps. At least a chimp has the excuse of not remembering when it tears someone's genitals off, but humans are still capable of this behavior anyway and it's worse when a person does it because they remember. Perhaps evolution took things too far and we should all be chimps. Take one look at a chimp in a business suit and tell me I'm wrong.