2.18.2013

What To Do When You Accidentally Sext Your Parents

Sometimes when you're sending a naughty message and a photo of your bollocks to a chick you're not necessarily in a sane state of mind and your hands are often shaking a bit so you always risk accidentally hitting the wrong thingamabob and sending it to your mother or father instead. This is a very embarrassing moment in a person's life, and if you drink a lot, it's an inevitable event. The problem is dealing with the aftermath.

If your parents are older and not too tech savvy you can destroy their phones and buy them new ones (It's worth the money, trust me). But if they've already opened it up and seen it then you're screwed. You're going to have to go with the "Those aren't my balls" excuse. But odds are if it's your mother then she's seen them since you were a child so she knows about the birthmark on your left nut. The only thing you can do at that point is never see them ever again and try to pretend it never happened. You don't want to go to Thanksgiving and have that brought up in front of everyone. Before you know it everyone's passing around the phone and laughing. You can't risk that.

If you do for some reason love your parents you might want to try the last option which is to surreptitiously feed them drugs that do damage to people's brains so that you can still be around them and love them, but they will have no recollection of your testes photo and text about how you want to slam them against a wall and eat their butt with chopsticks.

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