Is IKEA Selling Horse Meatballs?

The Swedish furniture/meatball store IKEA is doing everything it can to keep its balls out of customer's mouths now that they've been proven to contain horse meat. Now this only applies to the European IKEAs, but even if you're in America or anywhere else it would be in your best interest not to put their balls down your throat.

I don't think anyone should be too surprised by this news. You should never trust meat at a furniture store. Who the hell wants to go buy a dresser and eat meat spheres in the same establishment? When I go to Pier 1 Imports and eat meatloaf I brought in my pocket, everyone stares at me like a freak. And rightfully so, because that is the behavior of a psychopath. Bed frames and animal meat aren't a good mix. There's no proof that American IKEA beef and pork has horse sneaking into it, but for now it would be best to stop shoveling those little meat turds into your mouth with your allen wrench until all the facts are out.