Dear McFartnuggets: I'm currently trying on a pair of Nike women's cross training sneakers at the local Lady Foot Locker and the man who works here is acting very strange. When he was measuring my feet he began rubbing them and staring at me. He has invited me to his car. What should I do? -- Creeped Out in Ohio
Dear Creeped: GET THE HELL
OUTTA THERE! JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING AND RUN! DO NOT GO INTO THE VAN! Oh
crap. I just realized I won't be posting this for another day or seven.
Well... There's really no time for me to help you out here. I just hope
to god you got away. If you did, please contact me back so I know you're
okay. As a general rule you should choose to measure your own feet at
the shoe store. It's not rocket science. You just stick your foot on
that filthy metal contraption and figure out how big your foot is using
the lines and the slidey thing. There's no reason to get a man who's
chosen to dress like a WNBA referee involved. It's like letting a man at
Victoria's Secret adjust your bra for you. Feet are just the same as
breasts to some of these creeps. You have to keep that in mind. It's a
sick world out there and you have to be vigilant. Certain things are not
as innocent as they seem. Jesus, I just hope you got out of there.
Thanks for the question either way!
If you have any questions,
hopefully not THIS serious that would be better put to local law
enforcement or mall security, please email them to