Why Should You Have Your Funeral at Night?

If you've ever been to one funeral you've been to them all. They're always the same, a bunch of people wearing black crying during the day. That's why when I have my funeral it's going to be at NIGHT. Why not? Some people are superstitious, they think that the corpse needs to be buried before sundown or else the spirit will be trapped in purgatory for all of eternity, blah blah blah, whatever.

I'm more concerned with people having a good time at my funeral and everyone knows all the best parties happen at night. Sure it might be a little creepy to be standing out in a graveyard in the dark, especially if there's a sociopathic gravekeeper roaming out there offended by the idea of a night funeral, but to me that just adds to the excitement. Maybe if I'm lucky he does kill someone and I get a little company! No of course I'm joking, I wouldn't want anyone to die, I want to be let into Heaven alone. I don't need some other jackass weighing me down being annoying while we're on the escalator up. Do you go to heaven right after you die or do you have to wait till the funeral? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

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