Are You Spending Too Much Time on the Toilet?

The general consensus is that the average person spends approximately 20 minutes on the toilet every day. That's around 122 hours per year, 5 full days from dawn to dusk taking a dump. This of course is just a survey average. Since there's no way to really tell how long people are taking in their own homes under no pressure to perform then odds are the real number is much higher. No one would want to admit to a survey taker that they spend two hours squeezing a pound cake out of their ass every day. To judge whether you're taking too much time on the crapper you can't look at the numbers, you have to go by feel. If you're letting your hole crust over that's a definite sign you have to speed things up.

How do you do that? Well for starters you can start ingesting more fiber and waiting longer till it's a damn near emergency before unleashing the wild boar. If you develop a good timing and rhythm you can be in and out faster than a NASCAR pit crew. Like any athletic activity, taking a dump requires practice, coordinating, and conditioning. If you don't take it seriously, problems will arise and you won't be crapping up to your potential.

I recommend being very aware of the time you're spending in there, bring a stopwatch with you. By developing a good speed you're also going to be exercising your rectum which will only make it stronger in the future. It might seem ridiculous, but what's really ridiculous is wasting what amounts to YEARS of your entire life on the toilet. That's something you definitely will be regretting on your death bed. Plus, after you die your body shits itself anyway which is basically the universe's way of saying there'll be plenty of time to poop when you're dead.