Why Is There No Westminster Cat Show?

While President Obama was giving his 2013 State of the Union address, some dude named "Banana Joe" was winning the 137th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Sadly for Banana Joe, fewer eyes were on him than should have been as the President won the ratings war quite easily and also had the most social media buzz.

If the Westminster Kennel Club wants to stay relevant in today's society they're going to have to somehow incorporate cats into their shows. How many trillion view videos on YouTube feature an Affenpinscher? None. No one wants to see that.

If earthly power was represented by YouTube views, the President and Vice President of the United States would be a cat and a baby. Think of how many more single women would watch and live-tweet a Westminster cat show. People want to see kittens. The only dogs people want to see are puppies, not well primped, handsome, European, snobby adult dog models. If the Westminster people had any sense they'd scrap their show for a giant bouncy castle filled with kittens and puppies with dubstep music playing in the background. Then and only then would they be able to beat out a SOTU by the POTUS.