The Top 1 Reason Why World Records Are Stupid B.S.

Why is it that world records can be for the most ridiculous things like most bowling pins juggled, but they won't accept most dildos juggled? Isn't the concept of juggling bowling pins insane when you think about it? How much more insane is juggling dildos? At least that's something you have lying around the house! But my real problem with world records is underpants.

When you think about underpants and world records, what immediately springs to mind? Obviously the most impressive thing you can do with underpants would have to be wearing the same pair as long as humanly possible! But no, they have a world record for most pairs of underpants worn all at once (302). How come there's no world record for most days wearing the same pair of underpants?! I'll tell you why, because the Guinness people would have to go around checking homeless people and that's not something they want to do. God forbid you pull a hobo's drawers down and carbon date his tattered and stained briefs for two damn seconds!

These are people who could use more world records as a sign of achievement, to leave a lasting legacy behind and have their lives actually mean something and you're going to give that honor to some dipshit who slaps on 302 pairs of underpants in their spare time? That's outrageous and this is the type of thing that's wrong with the world right now. It might not be the exact reason for most people's suffering, but it's nipping at the root of the problem.