The Worst Thing About Being The Guy From "Memento"

Sometimes you see a movie and you really wish you were the main character in the movie. You wish you could somehow pray to god and the lord would transport your soul out of your own crappy life to put it into a universe where movies are real and into the body of the protagonist in a specific film. You know it isn't possible, but you keep praying for this every single night of your life as you fall asleep clutching your giant Vermont Teddy Bear and kicking your legs in anger on your water bed. Well "Memento" isn't one of those movies. If you haven't seen it "Memento" is a movie about a guy who can only remember things for a few minutes before his brain erases all his short term memories and he has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on.

There are clearly a lot of reason why it would suck to be this Memento guy, but I have to say the main one that I would feel the worst about is dealing with taking a crap. Let's say you're Memento and you need to take a dump. Most dumps take more than the amount of time Memento can remember so he's probably waking up on the shitter having no idea how far along into the dump he is. He doesn't know if he just started, if he's almost done, if he IS done and should start wiping, or if he already finished wiping and flushed and he was just hanging out reading.

If I was Memento I'd probably end up dying on the toilet because by the time I figured it was time to stand up and finish the day I'd have my memory erased and wake up all over again sitting on the crapper. I'd keep regaining consciousness with a fricken beard and mustache smelling like crap wondering what the hell was going on and then I would die a horrible slow, torturous death that felt like dying a thousand times all on the toilet. THAT is why I would not want to be Jeffrey Memento or whatever the hell his name was.

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