What Hungry Hungry Hippos Could Learn From Monopoly

The board game "Monopoly" has experienced a rebirth through the controversial campaign to retire "the iron" game piece and replace it with a cat. The choice of the cat was no surprise because it was put to a popular vote and the only people who really care about something like that are single women in their 60's who incidentally love cats. No matter what the outcome of the vote, people were talking about Monopoly again despite the fact it's the 21st century. Other board games should take a page out of Monopoly's book and hopefully the next one to switch things up will be "Hungry Hungry Hippos".

We all remember Hungry Hungry Hippos as an exciting, fast paced game of very little skill that was easy enough for a half-comatose alcoholic parent to play with their kids while completely hungover. With board games quickly becoming extinct, it's important to introduce the classics to the youngest generation and the best way to do that is to have new relevant game characters. The latest iteration of HHH came out in 2009 and they renamed all the classic hippos to stupid shit like "Sweetie Potamus" so this company is clearly not against changing things up.

I suggest they let fans vote which color hippo to retire and have replaced by either a plastic version of Chris Christie, Melissa McCarthy, Rosie O'Donnell, Adele or Kathy Bates. This would really re-energize people about the game and boost sales. You're thinking, who would choose Kathy Bates? A lot of the same people who voted the cat into Monopoly, that's who. Who wouldn't buy a new Hungry Hungry Hippos if you could play as Chris Christie? That'd be a hoot to play at parties and whoever was chosen might take their selection as a serious sign they need to lose weight. Perhaps it might end up saving their lives all while revitalizing the board game business. That's the best case scenario I think we're all hoping for.