How To Explain A Wet Bed

Sometimes you wake up next to someone you've never seen before and the bed is soaked in urine or some other strange unknown fluid. This is one of the most embarrassing moments someone can experience because you only get one chance to make a first impression with someone.

The trick here is to have a good excuse ready to save your reputation in front of this stranger who will most likely tweet about this once they've had their coffee. If you manage to wake up before the other person you should run to the kitchen and drink as much water as you can then get back into bed. Then go back to sleep and when their scream wakes you up say "Relax, this is how they do it in Europe, it means you had a great night." Then pee again onto the bed on purpose. This way at least you appear psychotic as opposed to whatever people think about you when you piss a bed by accident.