What Is The Most Embarrassing Way To Die?

Dying is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a person. No one wants to be the guy who shows up in Hell with everyone laughing about how stupid he looked when his heart finally stopped beating forever. Generally speaking, one of the top most embarrassing common ways to die is in the shower because you're bareass naked and usually covered in feces and urine since those are released soon after you die. The other way no one wants to die is during autoerotic asphyxiation because your penis is out and you have a rope tied around your neck, also you've most likely crapped and pissed your pants and whatever disturbing thing you were watching while masturbating is there for your family or housekeeper to see. That's pretty embarrassing, but the number one most embarrassing way to die has to be killed in a knife fight by an elderly woman.

Usually when you get in a knife fight with a 70-year-old woman they're pretty easy to beat because their reflexes are too slow and their joints are weak, so to actually lose your winning streak in front of all the crackheads down by the bus station and die, that is something you'll never live down. That's why I'm officially announcing my retirement from knife fighting elderly women today. I'm sorry, I can't do it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I had a great career and those are years of my life I will never forget, but it's time to turn the page in this wacky book of life. I just can't risk Ethel's friend with the mechanical leg seeking vengeance on me in the ring. I'm done with this.