Ask McFartnuggets: "Is it Weird to Use Your Bra as a Wallet?" and "My Son Made Me a Toy For My Birthday"

Dear McFartnuggets: I don't always have a place to put my money when I go out so I've started to put my money in my bra. I feel a little weird taking the money out at stores to pay for things though, everyone looks at me like a weirdo. Is this wrong to do? I don't know, I think it's a pretty good idea. -- Leonard from Omaha, Nebraska

Dear Leonard: People are probably looking at you odd because it's not a real classy thing to keep money in your bra. The cashiers probably feel uncomfortable touching money soaked in your boobie sweat. Also, keeping money in a bra is traditionally more of a thing that women do, so being a man that probably increases the awkwardness for people. I'm not saying you should stop, but these are the reasons it makes people uncomfortable. I personally prefer keeping my money in my g-string which is better because no one can see it under my sweatpants. Cheers!

Dear McFartnuggets: So my birthday was 5 days ago and my 10-year-old boy made me my gift. I was thrilled to see what he made me and it turned out to be a weird rod made out of sunhardened Play-Doh. I asked him what it was and he said it was a "personal enjoyment item". Now that would have been all well and good, but before we left to take him to school he wanted me to keep the personal enjoyment item with me like a good luck charm. I told him it wasn't appropriate to take it with us, but he started screaming and crying so, long story short, I'm walking around with a Play-Doh personal enjoyment item all day now and I don't know if I'm ever going to get rid of it. What should I do? -- Darissae from Gnome's Knob, Iowa

Dear Darissae: If I were you I would go to the local arts and crafts store and buy googly eyes and other things to decorate the personal enjoyment item like a Mr. Potato Head that way it looks less like a knob to people at work and in public. Then I would tell the son that you liked it so much you decided to give it presents and make it into your best friend. If the kid has a problem with this then I would consider getting him some counseling, but I doubt that will be the case. I was thrilled whenever my mother would decorate the personal enjoyment items I made her as a child so that seems to be the best way to handle this situation.

Your son might have some issues, but this is excellent craftsmanship.
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