Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Don't Angels Ever Possess People?" and "My Urine is Really Orange"

Dear McFartnuggets: You always hear of people being possessed by Satan or demons when they do really awful things like kill and torture people, but how come you never hear of angels possessing people? -- Randolph from Portland

Dear Randolph: That is a good question. You'd think you'd see at least a few people possessed by angels running around doing super good things non-stop the same way a man possessed by a demon goes around murdering people and eating them. There must be something about the physics of angels that doesn't allow them entry into the human body. Possession of a soul is sort of a penetrative act so a demon or Satan would have no problem with it, but an angel might feel a little weird about taking over someone's will. That being said I think we would all agree this should happen more often. If any angels are reading this, you need to start coming down and possessing people, I don't care if you think it's gross. You don't have to stay in these people, just pick a couple hundred and start doing really crazy good things all the time for about five years or so, maybe a little longer and I think we'd all be surprised at what a difference that could make in the lives of every living human being on this planet.

Dear McFartnuggets: For the past two months my urine has been orange. Not a little orange either, I mean it looks like I'm peeing Minute Maid into the potty. I'm scared, what if this is an STD? -- Wilson Nippleslapper in Oregon

Dear Wilson: Yeaaahhh... Usually when I pee sort of orange it means I'm dehydrated or have had way too much Sunny D. Make sure you drink a lot of water. Drink like ten glasses of water and then if your pee pee is still orange after that then I would arrange a doctor's visit. Just try to flush out your kidneys and bladder with clean water for awhile and if your piss looks more like Orange Slice than Crystal Pepsi then call your physician right away.
Orange juice is healthy, but having your wee wee look like it is not.
Send questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and try to be possessed by an angel.

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