The Top 10 Worst "Air" Instruments

What's in an air instrument?
Most people like to play mime musical instruments like "air guitar", "air drums", or "air voice" (lip syncing), but there are a few instruments you should really never play "air" versions of especially in public and they are...

10). Violin - Playing air guitar is very popular, but the air violin is one imaginary stringed instrument that looks weird when playing it. The problem is you have to keep your chin clamped down on it to maintain the look of a violin and that can look extra stupid when there's no actual instrument there.

9). Viola - The air viola is incredibly similar to the air violin, but it's a tad worse because explaining that you're playing the "Air viola NOT the air violin" makes you look seem like a douche.

8). Tuba - Playing the air tuba gets pretty awkward if it's not done properly. You have to really put a lot of effort into simulating the weight of a tuba which is incredibly difficult when dealing with a fairly weightless thing like air which leads to an inaccurate portrayal.

7). Trumpet - Doing the arm movement for the air trumpet can look a little repetitious after awhile and then there's the risk of accidentally punching someone in the face.

6). Cello - The air cello is a very difficult airstument to play because you need to be seated and, like the tuba, must simulate an incredibly large object.

5). Musical Saw - The air musical saw is one of the rarest air instruments because few people are even familiar with the actual musical saw so playing the air version creates a lot of confusion.  The only benefit is that since it's not a real saw there's no risk of being cut.

When you play an air version of this no one's going to know what the hell is going on.

4). Tambourine - Playing the air tambourine is pretty boring and most of the time people have no idea what you're doing. They usually think you're doing the "jerkoff" gesture and wonder who you're referring to which can lead to some awkward office moments.

No instrument has transformed the landscape of music quite like the mythical tambourine.

3). Maracas - Another hand shaken instrument, the air maracas are a little worse than the air tambourine because you can't even slap your hand against it like a tambourine so basically you're just shaking the air maracas which gets boring fast. Plus, the whole point of air-playing an instrument is that you can't play the real version, but even a Chimp with a learning disability could play the maracas so why bother with the air maracas?

2). Harmonica
- The air harmonica is another instrument that no one will understand when they first see it. If there are people around you they will usually ask "Are you okay? Is something wrong with your mouth?" Then you explain that you're just playing the air harmonica and they get a slightly worried look in their face and leave the room. It's not an ideal situation.

1). Clarinet - The absolute worst air instrument to be seen playing is the air clarinet. The reason for this is because the way you play a clarinet when mimed in the air looks an awful lot like you're just manually manipulating a giant penis while fellating it. I didn't see it at first, but then I did this at a party and was mocked relentlessly.

If you want to be cool, just play a real clarinet.
So if you're planning to purchase a new air instrument soon from the imaginary forest hopefully you learned a few things and are able to save your air money for a proper air bass or start piecing together a nice air drum set.

1 comment :

  1. The air musical saw won't be so confusing if played in New York City - for 10 years now New Yorkers have been exposed to the NYC Musical Saw Festival (which even got into the Guinness Book of Records for 'Largest Musical Saw Ensemble'): http://youtu.be/eON-p4afeTkF
    In addition to this, for the past 18 years one of the most well known buskers in NYC is the 'Saw Lady': http://youtu.be/lPvTTc7jAVQ You all can get inspiration from these videos for how to correctly play air musical saw :)