Ask McFartnuggets: "The Perfect Argument Against Gun Control"

Dear McFartnuggets: I don't understand this whole gun control argument. Yes crazy people with guns can be violent and kill a lot of people, but crazy people are going to find a way to kill people whether they have access to guns or butter knives. I personally believe that if every single person in America had a gun there would be less violence. For example, in "The Dark Knight Rises" Bane rises to power and basically captures Gotham City with a small army because they were armed with heavy machine guns. Now if every citizen of Gotham had a gun on them he would have never been able to get away with any of that. That scene where he and his henchmen are on the football field standing around like fat ducks would have been drastically different. Do you think for a second that Bane and his men would have gotten out of that stadium alive? It would have turned into a giant firefight and my money is on the 20,000 good people of Gotham! Yes it was a movie, but it was a very realistic movie and the same ideas apply. If Bane was to go invade some place like England where they have no guns he'd probably be able to, but because some Americans have the right to bear arms it would be a little harder for him so why not make it absolutely impossible by giving everyone a gun? -- Rodrigo from New Hampshire


Dear Rodrigo: While that certainly would have made for a much more exciting movie, I'm not sure that's a winning argument necessarily. You have to remember most people at football games are drunk as hell and completely irrational people caught up in a quasi-fantasy world where the outcome of sporting contests is a key factor in their lives. Because that's true, even if Bane shows up one day, there will be a much less populated city for him to conquer. Bullets won't be flying around football arenas, but there'd always be that risk of some idiot going nuts with his legal gun. Considering how long Bane waits until after guns are allowed on your person anywhere, he and his dozen or so henchmen might actually have a chance against the much smaller crowd of people at the game. Your argument is decent, but that's the one flaw and it's a decent sized one. Thanks for the question anyway.



Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and thanks for smelling!