Astronauts Have Anti-Bacterial Underwear

NASA currently has the technology to make underwear and other clothing that's anti-bacterial, water-absorbent, and odor-eliminating. The only reason you're not farting in a pair of astroundies right now is because pairs of underpants you never had to change would put a big dent in pantie profits. There's no way in hell that Hanes and Fruit of the Loom lobbyists would let astroundies break out into the real world. But the joke's on those bastards because I only wear one pair of underwear for months at a time anyway, so all they're really doing is making other people suffer by not giving me the astronaut underwear.

I have no problem with wearing the same pair of undies over and over again without washing them, but people on the bus sure as hell do. Folks in starving countries are dying out there because they don't have proper clothing and here's the space program hogging all their special clothing for bullshit missions to find planets that we won't ever be able to reach. Why are we in space to begin with? I thought it was to help mankind! Well if you have the means to help mankind, then do it!

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