The Top 5 Foods That DON'T Go Well With Peanut Butter

Peanut butter is a classic food staple that's known for being a great romantic partner with many different foods from it's wife Jelly to chocolate, honey, celery, apples, and even JAM! However, peanut butter doesn't go great with ALL foods, as I've found. Most of my experiments were a success and you'd be hard pressed to find stuff that doesn't go well with peanut butter, but here are the top 5 foods that don't.


5). Eggs.

When you go into a diner and ask for a 3 egg omelet and they ask you what you want in it and you say peanut butter, the dude will look at you like you're a freaking lunatic. Then when he reluctantly agrees giving you the benefit of the doubt and you take a bite then proceed to vomit all over the diner counter, you end up looking pretty stupid.

Peanut butter doesn't go so great with oranges either!

4). Crab.

Crab meat feels like it's missing something and since a lot of people use butter on crab I thought, why not PEANUT butter? Well needless to say the people at Red Lobster were staring freaking holes into me with their laser eyes when I whipped out my 4 lb. jar of JIF. In the end, the flavors were all off and the experiment didn't pay off at all.

Whoops, wrong type of crab!

3). Eel.

First off, it's hard enough just slathering peanut butter onto an eel because it's so damn slippery. The peanut butter has a hard time keeping a grip on the flesh. Then once you eat it everything's far too salty. Peanut butter works best with sweeter foods so there's a nice balance created and different flavor notes are reached by the marriage of the two foods and eel just doesn't do it's part here.

Just trying to catch one of these buggers is enough reason not to add peanut butter.

2). Goat.

After a long day of pondering suicide all you really want is to lay on the beach and enjoy a nice goat meat sandwich. Well nothing ruins a goat sandwich quite like peanut butter. I think the problem is goat is pretty fatty and peanut butter has a lot of oil in it so when the two mix it's like a Greek heart attack waiting to happen.

Love that goat meat!

1). Pizza.

Pizza is number one on the list because you'd think "Peanut butter (great) plus  Pizza (Awesome) equals The greatest food ever created!" But you'd be wrong. If you don't believe me, the next time you're at a pizza party at work or cub scouts take a jar of PB and dump it all over the pizzas. No one's going to say "WOW GREAT IDEA!" and no one's going to come up to you after in the parking lot where you've woken up after being beaten unconscious by everyone to say "Hey sorry we beat you up for ruining the pizzas because it turns out the peanut butter made it INCREDIBLE!" No one is going to say that, ever.

Peanut butter and pizza are like two movie stars trying to make a relationship last. It's not going to happen.

I don't blame peanut butter for not going well with these foods. It has to be one of the most versatile foods ever created and it should be thanked and honored for tasting good with so many other foods. I'm willing to give it a pass for not being great on pepperoni pizza, I blame myself more than anything.