Ask McFartnuggets: "The Mysterious Connection Between Space and Asses"

Dear McFartnuggets: We all know that because of the the phrase "Astro" a lot of space terms tend to sound like ass. But that doesn't account for all the other space ass links. Of course we know the obvious ones, NASA (nASSa) and Uranus. But then what about the fact that the words asteroids and hemorrhoids are so alike, coincidence? Maybe it would be if it weren't for Black Holes! And what about that astronaut lady who went completely nuts and wore a diaper, astronauts are always shitting in their space suits. The biggest threat martians pose to earthlings are rectal probes. We call our space explorers astronauts, Russia calls theirs cosmonauts, the rest of the world thinks we're assholes, is that a coincidence? -- Sandra from Ukanuba, Alaska

Dear Sandra: Some people think it's a coincidence, but I happen to believe the answer is way more complicated and frightening. I believe that our "universe" as we know it is actually just the space in the anus of some ASStronomically large being. And that enormous being is a proctologist in his giant world so he's always consumed with butts and asses and in that world whatever you think of the most accents the molecules and universes in your anus. So there are other people in his giant world who have anuses full of universes where asteroids are called handeroids or baconaroids, etc. If you think about it long enough, it all starts to make sense.

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