Carnival Cruise Survival Supply Checklist

Have you recently booked a vacation adventure with the infamous Carnival cruise liners? Yes, the power has been going out and toilets have been overflowing turning the cruise ships into floating portapotties, but you shouldn't be scared. There are things you can bring with you aboard the cruise ship to make sure you and your family make it out alive safe and sound.

10). Rechargeable flashlights, lanterns, and radios.
- The main thing you're going to need to deal with is the power going off and you can't rely on the ship's emergency backup power.

9). Non-perishable foods like trail mix and granola bars.
- If the power goes off, a lot of the food the cruise ship normally serves will spoil and the foods that don't will be in high demand so bring a giant duffel bag of your own foods.

Tragedy never tasted THIS good!

8). Bags of purified emergency water.
- The ship's water supply may become compromised and if that's the case you're going to need pouches of fresh water to survive on and ration out amongst your family.

No it's not a colostomy bag, it's a hydration pack! And it could save your life.

7). Waterproof matches.
- You may need to start a fire on board to boil water or cook any raw foods that you and your family have scavenged aboard the ship.

6). Toys for the kids that will keep them distracted from the living hell you're experiencing.
- Most of the time people get aboard a cruise ship thinking the entertainment on board will be enough to keep kids engaged, but when all the power is off and people are shitting in the hallways that's going to change in a big hurry.

A radio-controlled boat would be a lot of fun to use during a flood.

5). Toys for yourself.
- Don't forget that it's a vacation and you're supposed to be having fun. Bring along whatever fun things you as an adult enjoy whether it's hand drawn flipbook porn or a solar powered vibrating dildo, books, whatever.

Don't act like you don't know what these are for...

4). Wetsuits and scuba gear.
- If there's severe flooding, all your clothes are going to be ruined so it's good to have a nice wetsuit to keep your skin protected. A scuba mask will help keep feces water out of your mouth and even help you if you are forced to jump out into the water.

A proper wetsuit will protect you from dirty water AND you can even diarrhea in them.

3). Waterproof camera.
- When something goes wrong on your cruise you're gonna want to document all the conditions because your verbal testimony may not be enough when it comes to a possible law suit. Even if you don't plan on suing, the photos and videos should provide a multitude of memories for years to come.

Unlike Jodi Arias, taking pictures will be able to help your case if you get caught in a bad cruise situation.

2). A hunting knife or sharp spear for self-defense.
- Do not bring a taser because if there is excessive flooding on the ship, you might end up electrocuting your damn self.

This guy knows what I'm talking about!

1). Plastic toilet with disposable trash bag liners.
- This is the most important thing to bring is a portable toilet. The biggest issue people faced on Carnival Cruise ship disasters was non-working toilets that overflowed when flushed. If you've got your own toilet with trash bags inside you can defecate and urinate into that sucker and then toss the garbage bags overboard and it's basically like you have a fully functioning toilet. If everyone aboard those cruise ships had a plastic toilet and dumped their waste overboard then there's a great chance that the horror stories of these voyages wouldn't have been so bad.

It doesn't look like much, but it can make your Carnival cruise disaster much less awful. Just make sure you use sturdy enough rubbish bags.

So if you've got a Carnival cruise trip planned, or any cruise ship trip planned for that matter, do not leave port without these ten items with you. If you do that then you're safe from any dangers that will arise from an electrical blackout and your only cruise ship dangers will be contracting a horrible parasite and/or having your ship sink in a giant storm. Have a great vacation!

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