The Top 10 Best Things to Give Up For Lent

As most religious people know, the holiday of Quadragesima (Lent) is coming up and that means you need to give up a luxury in your life for forty days in order to apologize for all your sins. Here's a list of the top 10 best things to give up for lent:


10). Hookers.

Prostitution is one of the best things to give up for Quadragesima because not only does it send a strong message to your family, but it's also going to help save you a lot of money which can then be used for a vacation or something nice like a new swimming pool just in time for Summer.

This plate must be a lot of fun to eat off of...

9). Work.

When you're thinking about what to give up for Lent you have to think about what the most important things to you really are. Working to maintain a constant income is perhaps the most important thing in anyone's life so by giving that up you're engaging in a pretty serious sacrifice. If fasting is a great thing to do for lent then surely taking a forty day unpaid break from work would be pretty good too.

"Unoter day at teh factury!"

8). Paying Bills.

Continuing with the theme of doing without, by giving up paying your bills for lent that will mean you won't be able to use your demonic cell phone or have electricity in the house and that really helps people become more one with the lord.

Darkness is always a nice way to force family time.

7). Talking.

The ability to speak is a pretty serious luxury in life. Most people take talking for granted, much like eating and electricity so taking a vow of silence for Lent is a great idea. Sure people might have some difficulty with you and you might be fired from your job and have relationships deteriorate, but a good way to combat this is to have shirts made up that say "I'm giving up speaking for Lent". That should eliminate any confusion.

If you're having trouble keeping quiet a few times around the mouth with some sturdy duct tape does wonders.

6). Clothing.

Clothing is one of those luxuries we've just gotten way too used to. You might be sent to jail for practicing this sacrifice for Quadragesima, but then you're also giving up your freedom as well which is basically like adding a 2x modifier onto your Lent points. In other words, Double Lent.

Doing your paperwork naked is a great way to relieve stress.

5). Anorexia.

A lot of people like to fast for Lent, but if you're normally someone who fasts all year round due to Anorexia in order to stay trim and light then Quadragesima can be a great time to start packing on the pounds.

This guy is making anorexia look a lot more fun than it really is.

4). Heroin.

One of the most addicting narcotics in the world, Heroin is the perfect thing to give up for Lent. If you ever wanted to show people at church or synogogue or mosque that you're serious about religion, giving up your Heroin addiction for Lent is the way to do it. While you're feeling those horrible withdrawal symptoms just remember, it's only 40 days. Once that time is up you can go right back into it so just HOLD ON!

If that doesn't get your mouth watering then there's something wrong with YOU.

3). Bath Salts.

Bath Salts, otherwise known as "Sal de Diablo" are a terrible drug and if you're addicted to it you may be exhibiting signs of zombism. Giving up being a Bath Salts Zombie scores some serious Lent Points and will probably save a lot of people's faces from being eaten in the meantime.

They make the box look harmless on purpose.

2). Cannibalism.

If you've been eating human flesh then odds are you've got a lot of sinning to repent for and so the least you can do is stop eating people for Lent. It probably won't keep you out of Hades, but hey! You've gotta start somewhere!

That's NOT cool, lady!

1). Lent.

Lent is great because it lets you serve a penance for your sins so by totally giving up Lent itself you're sacrificing this personal opportunity for penance and what could be more meaningful than that?

Does this guy look like he's enjoying himself?

All of these are great ideas for what to give up for Lent and the cool thing is you can even mix and match. I would however advise against giving them all up during the same Lent cycle because that could result in some seriously bad consequences for not only yourself, but those around you and that really goes against the true spirit of Quadragesima. So that's it! Remember it's all about having fun. Now go out there and Happy Lenting!