Gift Ideas For The Person Who Has EVERYTHING

Sometimes a friend's birthday rolls around and you're trying to think of the right gift to get for them when you realize they have everything that's possible to have on this planet. Here are some great gift ideas for the human who has everything:

1). Nothing.

Usually when Someone Who Has Everything's birthday is around the corner I'll type up an email saying "Well, you have everything in the world so I'm not going to bother getting you extra BS you don't need. Happy birthday, Grandpa!" Then I realize they probably have all the birthday wishes they need too so I delete the email and call it a day. It's not like their feelings will be hurt since they have everything. If anything, I save them the time it would have taken them to read my shitty email and time is the one thing you can't possess so that's probably one of the best gifts to give someone who claims to have "everything".

2). A person who has NOTHING.

The perfect gift in theory for "the man who has everything" would be "the woman who has nothing". That's right, a homeless woman. Pick one up off the street, try to be a little selective, make sure they have absolutely nothing and try to set her up with the guy. If the thing about opposites attracting is true, they should hit it off immediately.

3). A major league ass-kicking.

Whether you do it yourself or hire someone else to beat the guy up, it could be one of the best gifts he's ever received. When he's recovering in the hospital with all his friends and family around him he'll learn to stop taking things for granted and really appreciate the fact that he has everything and that knowledge and change in beliefs might end up saving his life down the road some day. It's the perfect gift too because if he has everything there's no point in suing you even if he does find out you masterminded the entire thing. That being sad, it's important to make sure the man truly has everything before you attempt this otherwise it would be a bad idea.

Sometimes the person who has everything is missing humility, which is a thing, so they don't truly have everything.

Some people act like getting gifts for people who have everything is tough, but it's actually the easiest person to get a gift for when you stop to think about it. Hopefully now you have some good ideas and are able to make their next birthday great even though there's no way for you to do that because it will be without you no matter what.