Why People Should Be Allowed To Live With Chimpanzees

Owning and living with a chimp is basically like having a roommate who doesn't contribute any rent money and occasionally jacks off and shits on the carpet, so actually it's exactly like having a roommate. Sometimes we get into fights with roommates. If your roommate goes crazy and starts fighting with you, you call the cops and they shoot him because he's high on Crystal Meth does that mean you (along with every other person in the country) should never be allowed to have a roommate again? Hell no! So if that happens with a chimp instead why should it mean that no one else in America can have chimps as pets?

When a chimp does eventually try to rip someone's face off after wearing a diaper and having it's crap strapped to its ass every day, you can't say "Okay no more chimps as pets!" Each chimp is an individual. And sure it might not be great to wear a diaper especially when you're accustomed to shitting where ever you please, but what's the alternative? Being locked in a zoo? Where else do you see chimps in America? They aren't ever just hanging out in a park in a tree. You would call the cops! We treat these creatures like unwieldy beasts. What's wrong with treating them like equals? So let people have chimps as pets, but don't treat them like pets, treat them like you would a retarded Bolivian child, not very smart, but emotional and incredibly strong.

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