Ask McFartnuggets: "Should You Have Romance Before a Job Interview?"

Dear McFartnuggets: I've got a big job interview coming up next week and I really don't want to blow this one. It's the first interview I've managed to set up for myself in the past year and I want to make sure everything goes perfectly. I've got my clothes ready and all my answers prepared, but one thing I need to know is if I should masturbate or have romance the day before the interview. I know that will majorly affect me one way or another. I don't want to be too relaxed, but at the same time I don't want to be aggressive, or do I? Help! I'm very confused about this! -- Liam from Oklahoma City


Dear Liam: This is a very controversial and difficult question to ask. As I'm sure you know, professional fighters and athletes have a belief that intercourse before the night of a fight will hurt their chances by making them weaker and less violent. For females it was found to serve the opposite effect. However, since you're talking about a job interview and not a fight or a football game, that changes things.

Experiencing a release before a job interview can result in being more relaxed, understanding, and talkative and less jumpy or nervous. This seems like a great reason to have intercourse or touch yourself before a job interview, but remember that those are feminine traits and women sadly are less respected in the professional world. Studies have shown a disturbing trend of men being hired more often than women. Of course I don't agree with this, but that's the way it is. So with that in mind, it would be best to NOT do anything before a job interview.

And if you MUST then have it be as far beforehand as possible. This is for two reasons: you're able to regain your temperament and if you push it too close to the interview time there might be a mess left on your clothes that you're not aware of. The only one big negative to NOT having an orgasm before a job interview is you might experience an erection during the interview which is usually a deal breaker for most employers. So according to my logical reasoning it would be best if you avoid relations at all costs before a job interview and focus that bottled up blue ball rage into nailing the interview and getting that job! Good luck!

Like monkeys, we live in a dominance-based society in which the aggressor will reap many benefits over the relaxed. So go get that job or a shiny golden rod, either one is cool.

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