Why Don't People Cover Their Ass With Their Hand When They Fart?

Farting is just sneezing out of your ass.

It's widely accepted to be proper etiquette to cover your mouth when you cough, or hold a handkerchief up to your face when you sneeze, or turn your head to the side when you burp, but how come no one ever covers their ass when they fart? A fart is no different than a cough. It's basically an ass sneeze. Yet you wouldn't believe how often I see people on the bus or in an elevator fart right out in the open and not have the common decency to put a hand over their butt! It's sickening. Where are people's manners these days? When I fart in public I put both my hands over my butthole and say "Whoopsies! My sincerest apologies to all." That's how everyone should deal with public farting. Maybe if more people had the decency to act that way the world wouldn't be such a sick place and also people wouldn't look at me so weird when I did.

Some people think you don't need to cover your ass when you fart with a hand or cloth because you're wearing pants. Yeah that might make sense, but does a woman in an Arabic facial scarf cover her mouth when she coughs? I'm guessing yes. Why would she though? She's already got a cloth in front of her face. NO! You still cover your mouth because it's simply good manners. The same should go for farts and asses. So if you're one of the people who doesn't cover up when you fart in public take this as a warning. You can keep farting uncovered and spread germs and sickness throughout the land, but if you try and pull that crap around me I'll call you out for it. I will stand right in your face and say "Next time cover your freaking butt when you fart! And say PARDON MY FRENCH!" Instead of the usual "God bless you" that I say to people who have the class to put a hand over their fart.