Beginning in August 2013, the mailman will no longer come on Saturdays. This is a true American tragedy. The postal workers of America have it hard enough without losing a full day of pay. If you're upset about this and you care about the United States Postal Service then there is something you can do. Send out invitations to all the mail carriers in your area for a party every Saturday. Then when they show up, turn it into an insane postal orgy and try pleasuring as many people as you can. If enough people do this, we can keep the mail coming every Saturday, one way or another. Unless of course you don't care, in which case, shame on you. It might seem like a lot, but if you do this at least you don't have to give your mail carrier a Christmas tip. You would have done enough for them by Christmastime already. WINK!