5 Stupid Resume Mistakes People Make Without Knowing It

It's been years since I've received any calls about the jobs I applied to and I may not know the key to a successful resume, but I have narrowed down some of the definite flaws to a resume. Here are some of the biggest resume mistakes I've been making and I'm pretty sure they're the reason I never get called:


5). Using a ridiculous font. 

Some people think the most important thing about writing a resume is making it noticeable. While it is true that it's tougher than ever to find work and the talent pool companies are sifting through is wide, that's never an excuse to write your resume in Webdings.

4). Making your resume more than one page. 

Most employer selector people don't have the patience to read more than one page of your accomplishments and I know there are several, so the best thing is to just narrow it all down. A few dozen accolades will need to hit the cutting room floor, but it's worth it to be succinct.

3). Listing your work position at Build-A-Bear Workshop as "Fluffer". 

Apparently some managers have a disturbingly extensive knowledge of porn and are familiar with the other meaning of this term.

2). Bragging about high school.

I don't care if you're just out of high school, you have to have some other things to mention on your resume. A prospective employer doesn't care that you did junior varsity cross country for a week or showed your taint to Mrs. James in the middle of English class on the day before Christmas break.

1). Accidentally attaching a nude photo when uploading your resume online.

I can't tell you how many times I've done this in a drunken haze and hit upload before realizing I selected the wrong file the next week. Always remember to keep your resume files in a separate file folder far from your naked pics. It may seem like a silly thing, but it could mean the difference between getting the job and staying unemployed.


For your own sake, I hope you never make any of the same mistakes I have. And if you are currently making any of these mistakes I hope you've caught and corrected it before it's too late.