3.04.2013

The Top 5 Worst Places to do The Harlem Shake

Like it or not, the Harlem Shake isn't going anywhere. As long as this is going to keep happening people should at least use a few guidelines. There are specific places where this dance should not be done and here are the top 5 worst locations you should never film a Harlem Shake video:


5). Adult movie theater.

Look I'm not here to judge where you spend your time, but the fact of the matter is most of the people at an adult movie theater don't to be on film. They're usually not big dancers either, it's mostly people just looking to enjoy the cinema. Everyone's busy doing their own personal Harlem Shake if you know what I'm talking about, so knock it off.


4). The funeral of a relative.

Funeral Harlem Shakes are growing in popularity, but it just seems wrong. If your newly deceased loved one has expressed in their will that they want you to do a Harlem Shake at their funeral than by all means go ahead, but if not I wouldn't go for it. If the dead person is someone in your immediate family I would discuss the matter with other members of the immediate family. And if the dead individual is a cousin or uncle I would definitely consult their immediate family to avoid a very awkward situation.


3). In a hotel room with a bunch of hookers.
The problem with doing the Harlem Shake with ladies of the night is that they will require payment. It's really a waste of money. If you've got an adequate number of whores in a hotel room I would just recommend using them for other purposes because as it turns out, filming a Harlem Shake type dance with them is still considered illegal. Yeah I know, it's ridiculous! But the police are really stubborn about this stuff. They'll say it was only part of the "foreplay" and that other things were discussed in the monetary negotiations for services rendered, blah blah WHATEVER. You'll be hearing from my attorney.


2). During surgery.

If you are a surgeon at a hospital you might be tempted to film a Harlem Shake video with a bunch of other doctors and nurses with an opened up patient on the operating table. It seems like a really good idea and to some degree it is, but let's remember you took an oath to try and help people live and dancing around an unconscious person with a 5 inch wide incision over their liver while you're spazzing out with a giant fish head mask on isn't exactly conducive to proper treatment for your patient.


1). The funeral of a stranger.

So we've discussed why it's wrong to do a Harlem Shake at the funeral of a relative, but doing it at a funeral for someone that you've never met before is a thousand times worse. If you really want to do a Harlem Shake at a funeral and you've got your mind set on it then just do yourself a favor and talk to people you know, get them to give you permission to do it at their funeral and just wait for them to die. Don't go searching for strangers' funerals and make a mockery of their service because people get really touchy about that. This guy actually threatened to kill me and you know what, that would mean people would get to do the Harlem Shake at MY funeral, but what's the fun in that if I'm not there to witness it? Think about it...

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