3.01.2013

Ask McFartnuggets: "Is the Harlem Shake Stupid?" and "Does 'Brogurt' Have Bull Semen in it?"

Dear McFartnuggets: What is the deal with this Harlem Shake stuff? It sounds like a special McDonald's Shamrock Shake promotion for the inner cities of America. I don't get why this is so popular, do you?! -- Stephen J. from Albuquerque

Dear Stephen J.: I understand what you're saying. I too was confused about the whole Harlem Shake thing when I first saw it. It's just one guy dancing wearing a helmet and then later on a bunch of people dancing in a big group. I've actually been doing that for decades at nightclubs. Well, it started as me showing up to the club first before anyone else and dancing by myself wearing the helmet my mother gave me to be safe. No one would join me, they would just stand by the bar staring. Then after ten seconds of that or so, a bouncer or club security guy would throw me out of the building. When I looked back through the entrance I could sometimes see everyone dancing and having a great time. So that was basically the Harlem Shake every single weekend of my life, but no one thought it was cool or funny back then, of course it was probably all in the editing.


Dear McFartnuggets: Have you heard about the Greek yogurt for men? They call it "Brogurt", do you think there's bull semen in it? -- Tyron Franklin from Omaha, Nebraska

Dear Tyron: I'm fairly certain there is bull semen in Brogurt. That would certainly explain the little steer head logo on the front. That's how they pack so much protein into a single serving. Some people are afraid to consume bull ball gravy, but it's really not that strange of a concept. Did you know there's bull semen in Red Bull? Odds are you've already unknowingly consumed enough steer jizz in the past week to start your own damn cattle ranch using a bowl of your urine, a turkey baster, and a cow in heat. I'm not sure why they would make a Greek yogurt specifically for men though, I've been eating it for months at work and people have only called me a "gaylord" like five times. Oddly enough most of those came from women, but it's not big deal. Thanks for the question!

I'm more concerned with the yellow fluid surrounding the kum chunks.
If you have any more interesting questions please submit them to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com!

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