Can Ghosts Read People's Minds?

A question people have been asking since the first ghost was born sometime around 9 million years ago is "Can ghosts read people's minds?" I don't think ghosts can read minds, they don't have brains so they must be pretty stupid. That explains why ghost hunters always talk to ghosts like they're handicapped children or something. They always say crap like "If there is anyone in here, would you please make your presence known?" If ghosts were smart you could just say "Hi, ghosts" and they would know you were there to communicate. So that settles it, ghosts are stupid.

That means you can fool ghosts. So the next time you find yourself haunted by the ghost of your ex-wife, just build a little shrine to her so it looks like you actually do love her and the ghost will disappear. The ghost never has to know that you still truly hate the bitch for sleeping with your cousin five times and hounding you for child support despite the fact you made it known you wanted nothing to do with that kid from day one!