How Can You Protect Yourself From Being Swallowed by a Sinkhole?

After a man in Florida was swallowed by the Earth in his bedroom, the number one threat to everyone out there right now is sinkholes. Sinkholes and horse-meat are the top two issues facing the world these days. Right now let's focus on sinkholes.

Ever since the Florida tragedy that has claimed the life of 1 adult man, you might've had your children ask you about sinkholes and been confused about how to answer. What I told my kids is that a sinkhole is what happens when the Devil and his demons gets hungry and they open the ground to eat people. They rushed off to do their homework so fast my head was spinning, just like a demon.

Can sinkholes happen anywhere? Yes. What are you doing to protect yourself? Well there isn't much you can do, but what I've started doing is bolting gymnastic rings to my ceiling. That way if I feel a rumble coming I can just jump and grab onto those suckers and the floor can collapse and sink 20 meters down and I'll be able to swing back and forth on the rings and leap onto a stable area.

I think as sinkholes become more prevalent and more and more people die this will be taken more seriously. Until then I guess I'll be the freak with gymnastic rings all over his house. Am I worried about my kids being teased? Yeah, but better to be alive and teased than buried headfirst in a sinkhole of death.