|Here's one Santa you don't want your kids to sit on... Because he's probably a skeletal corpse by now.|
Here's a photo I found of a Santa from black and white days and I'm fairly certain this is the creepiest Santa ever born. This must have been before Santa developed a decent understanding of how to choose his "helpers" that would go out and talk to the commonfolk every year as his proxies. The most obviously creepy part of this Santa is his face/mask. I don't understand why a Santa would ever need a mask unless he's severely disfigured and would scare away children.
Let me get this straight, he can affix fake beard hair to a leather mask, but he can't make a fake beard? Why didn't this dude just glue the fake hair onto his face? Was it super windy or something and he was wearing the mask to protect his skin? This is old, dead, black and white people times! Did dermatology even exist back then? Give me a break! All you see is this mask and hollow spaces where eyes should be, I'm sure that had the children rushing over in droves.
It's clear this man isn't even overweight. Everyone knows the defining signature of Santa is his obesity. At least throw some stuffing under your jacket or something. No one likes a svelte Santa, especially if he's got a psycho mask on and is holding a blunt object that could clearly be used as a weapon. Also, this Santa's outfit looks more like something a Nazi Stormtrooper might wear. This guy looks more like Gandalf with first degree facial burns than a real Santa.
Then there's the matter of his sign/murder weapon. He's panhandling for money to send him down 10,000 chimneys. By the looks of this guy he probably literally climbed up people's houses and went down their chimneys which is scary to think about. Imagine the horror on people's faces when they saw this guy entering their home through the fireplace. Even worse, he probably came down emptyhanded because he was unable to raise any real money looking like a psychopath on the sidewalk. The sign doesn't indicate that the money would be used to spend on toys or gifts either. It just wants them to send Santa down the chimney.
This guy was trying to be paid to sneak into people's homes in a creepy ass mask. By the time he gets down the chimney he's probably all covered in soot so his outfit isn't red anymore and he literally looks like this photo to the family he's terrorizing. I hope I'm wrong about this guy, but a picture does say a thousand words and it seems that most of those words are "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"